


Don't Shut Me Out, Dammit!

by llsmolbunll



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Comfort, Crying, DON'T SHIP REAL PEOPLE, Doubt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Tears, Why Did I Write This?, minecraft persona's ONLY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:07:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23784412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llsmolbunll/pseuds/llsmolbunll
Summary: The demons in Grian's head is slowly starting to get to the better of him. They're causing him to self-doubt himself. And to self-doubt his and Mumbo's relationship.WhyisMumbo with him? He clearly isn't one of the best Hermit's on the server. What does the taller male see in him?Mumbo can clearly see something is going on with Grian. But he simply can't get in. It's like an Iron door that is slammed right in front of him, with no button or pressure plate to open the door. Why is Grian shutting him out?
Relationships: Mumbo Jumbo/Grian
Comments: 24
Kudos: 193





	Don't Shut Me Out, Dammit!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello little bun's! I bring, once again, another Grumbo one-shot! Only this time, I bring you an emotional/angst one-shot! Now, I'm not going to lie to you guys, this did hurt to write emotionally, as this comes from similar experiences of mine, or at least an experience of self doubt.
> 
>  _ **DISCLAIMER**_ : There is self-doubt in this one-shot, as well as anxiety. If you're sensitive when it come's to topics like these then I suggest you _**turn your backs now**_ don't say I didn't warn you little bun's!
> 
> I'm kind of proud of this one-shot, I don't think I'm really good when it comes to angst fics. I suck :D but sad spanish songs help a lot! Well, maybe not, because they're really sad, but it did help with a lot of inspiration for this one shot! I do hope you enjoy my little bun's and please stay safe out there! ; w ;

Grian was sitting on his bed, alone, his back resting on a couple of pillows as he held his knees close to his chest, sighing softly as he looked out his window, looking at the beautiful night sky, watching as the stars slowly began to shine, crowding themselves around the moon beautifully.

The light haired male sighed, his head turning towards the closed bathroom door, as he could clearly hear the shower running, knowing his boyfriend, Mumbo, was showering off all the redstone he had been working on today, as he was always building some form of contraption. The smaller male groaned, as he buried his face into his knees, a thought beginning to slowly creep into his mind. A thought that he didn’t want in his mind.

_‘Why are you so **useless**? Why do you rely on your boyfriend to help you? Because you can’t do it on your own, you are **worthless**.’_

Grian groaned softly, the questions beginning to progress as he drowned himself into an ocean of self-doubt. His anxiety slowly began to perk up, as he dug his nails in slightly into his arms, and biting his bottom lip. He didn’t understand. Why had Mumbo picked him to be in a relationship? What was so special about himself? Nothing. Why had the taller male fallen in love with him, when there was nothing good about him? Did he choose him out of pity? Did he feel forced to choose him? Grian simply couldn’t comprehend.

He looked up as he heard the bathroom door opening, he hadn’t realized he was so caught into his ocean of self-doubt, that Mumbo had finished his shower, what was once slick black hair, was brushed, a fringe to the right side of his face, and simply wore checkered pajama pants, leaving his upper body exposed, where Grian could clearly see how much muscle the taller hermit really had. A small blush crept to his cheeks, smiling softly.

Only to frown again once more, another one of his demons coming over to tell him.

_‘Look at him. You clearly don’t deserve a handsome man like him.’_

“Love?” Mumbo asked, raising an eyebrow at the sudden change of expression Grian had. He walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge as he lifted his hand, placing it gently on Grian’s cheek, “Are you feeling alright?”

Grian smiled sweetly, forging the sweet smile as to rid off his self-doubt for a little while, as to not make Mumbo worried. “Yes, I’m fine.” He simply responded, when in actuality, he wasn’t fine. “Why do you ask?” Grian questioned Mumbo, looking at him as he leaned into the soft caress of Mumbo’s hand on his cheek.

“Well...I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me, I thought you demeanor change so quickly…” He told him softly, shrugging his shoulders. Had he imagined it? Was his mind playing tricks on him?

Grian smiled, as he kiss Mumbo on the cheek, “I’m fine, nothing you need to worry about.” He told him, “Let’s go to bed, shall we?” Grian said, already beginning to feel tired as battling with himself was making him tired. It was always a struggle to battle with himself mentally, as he never wanted for Mumbo to find out about his self-doubt. The black haired male already had so much on his plate. He didn’t want his insecurities to be Mumbo’s main priority. He wanted Mumbo to keep up the good work on his base, to have fun on the server with the others. Not wanting him to simply worry about Grian and his demons.

“Then let’s get into bed, love.” Mumbo smiled, watching Grian get up as he did as well, opening the sheets and getting into them, the two huddling closer to one another, with Mumbo wrapping his arms around the smaller male.

“I love you.” Mumbo said, kissing Grian’s forehead lovingly, and looked down at him with a smile, before yawning and letting his eyes flutter closed, the black haired male passing out from such a long day.

Grian smiled softly, only to frown once more as he looked at Mumbo’s chest, and nuzzled into it, biting his lip as silent tears began to scroll down his cheeks.

“...I love you too.” Grian said finally, letting out a small whimper, and silently crying to sleep in his lovers arms.

A couple of days had passed during the day Mumbo had slept in Grian’s mansion, as he had just came back from end busting with Iskall. And something wasn’t adding up to Mumbo, and it was starting to agitate him.

Grian hadn’t been his usual self the last couple of days. Usually the smaller, light haired male was so cheerful, happily pulling pranks on others, or pressing buttons he wasn’t supposed to press. However, although Grian was clearly showing he was happy and that he was fine, Mumbo began to doubt that his lover his fine. His personality felt so forced, as if he was trying to hide something from Mumbo, and simply refused to tell him what was going on with him. As if he just shut and iron door right in front of him, without a pressure plate or button to open the door. And he had enough of it, he had to confront him on what was going on. He would drop whatever he was doing to comfort his lover, or to help him on anything he needed. 

He pulled out some rockets from his inventory, igniting one as he flew from the ground and flying towards Grian’s mansion, hoping the smaller male was there and that they would be able to talk, as this was eating at Mumbo’s heart, worried that something could clearly be wrong with Grian.

Grian was finished lighting up the middle area of the lower part of the entrance of the mansion, sighing softly as he wiped the sweat from his forehead, smiling a bit at his small accomplishment, only to simply frown once more. He turned as he could hear the sound of an elytra coming closer, noticing it was his lover, Mumbo, who seemed to have a worried expression on his face.

Mumbo landed right in front of the smaller male, causing Grian to back up a little as to not get hit by the taller male. Mumbo sighed, looking down at the smaller male, seeing that forced smile once again.

“Mumby!” Grian said happily, or so he made it sound to be, as he looked up at his lover and gave him a hug and kiss on the lips. “What brings you at this hour? I thought you weren’t coming until later tonight.” Grian questioned.

“Grian...We need to talk.” Mumbo said simply, as he frowned softly at the smaller male. This caused Grian’s anxiety to rise up, his heart beginning to pound slightly and his stomach starting to feel queasy. What did Mumbo want to talk about? Had he done something? He made sure not to do anything to get into his way! Had his facade come undone!?

_‘He’s probably here to tell you he doesn’t want you. He’s probably done with your needy ass. Done with having to deal with how codependent you are of him’_

“S-Sure...Let’s go inside.” Grian said shakily, beginning to fidget with the collar of his sweater as the two slowly walked up the steps of the mansion, not saying a word to each other.

The two were sitting at the dining table, Grian had prepared tea for the both of them. Grian held his cup tightly, taking very small sips, biting his lip. “So...What did you want to talk about, Mumby?” Grian said, smiling softly at the taller male sat across from him. Maybe he wasn’t thinking too much on it. Perhaps Mumbo just needed advice on something? Or simply came to talk about his End busting adventure with Iskall?

“Grian...What is wrong?” Mumbo asked, looking at the smaller hermit sitting right across from him. “I’ve noticed that...You’re forcing yourself to be happy. Is there something going on that you’re not telling me?” He asked his lover, wanting answers. He just wanted to help him with whatever could be going on.

Grian paused, setting his cup down and began to avert his gaze towards different objects in the kitchen, not being able to look at Mumbo in the eyes. “Mumbo, I already told you. I’m fine. Nothing is wrong.” He told the taller male, smiling as he finally directed his eyes to look Mumbo, only to frown as he could clearly tell that Mumbo was having none of it. His facade was slowly beginning to crumble. The demons in his head clearly beginning to get louder.

“Grian, come on. You can tell me!” Mumbo said, beginning to slightly grow impatient at the situation. He simply wanted to know if he was okay! What was so hard for Grian to simply tell him what was wrong?

“Mumbo, for the last time, I’m. **Fine**.” Grian snapped slightly, beginning to grow angry at the situation. Why couldn’t Mumbo simply agree to the fact that he was fine? Even if he wasn’t fine? Why was Mumbo pushing him the same question over and over? He had nothing to explain to him, this was simply Grian’s battle. A battle with himself and his demons.

“Don’t shut me out, dammit!” Mumbo said, standing up as he slammed his hands on the table, causing Grian to flinch at the sudden anger that Mumbo unleashed. “I don’t understand why you’re shutting me out! It’s as if you’ve shut an iron door in my face, with no button or pressure plate to enter! What the hell is going on!?” He snapped at Grian. He hadn’t meant to snap at his lover. He never had. But this was getting ridiculous. He simply wanted to help him! It’s what friends and lovers did! Be there for each other, right?

Grian’s bottom lip trembled, as tears slowly began to scroll down his cheeks, and stood up from his chair. Maybe if he walked out of the situation, then everything would be fine. He was about to walk out of the conversation, only to gasp as he was grabbed from behind, getting hugged tightly by the taller male.

Mumbo sighed, holding onto Grian tightly as he hid his face in Grian’s light brown hair, “I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.” He told him, “I just simply want to help you...I want to be there for you when you need me, Grian.” He told him softly.

Those words hit at Grian’s heart, and soon enough, sobs began to fill in the kitchen area, as Grian held onto Mumbo’s arm, his facade now shattered like a mirror that had just been shattered, and the pieces slowly falling on the floor, not being able to be picked up on their own. They needed help being glued back together again. It was in this moment, that Grian couldn’t keep this up by himself any longer, the demons in his head getting so loud that he couldn’t even hear Mumbo whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

Mumbo frowned sadly at how small and broken his boyfriend looked, at how fragile he seemed to be at this moment. It was a sight that knifed him in the heart, a sight he didn’t want to see. He unwrapped his arms from the smaller male and picked him up, earning a small gasp from the smaller male. He walked out of the kitchen and walked over to the living room area, and sat on the couch, and let Grian straddle his lap, wiping at the smaller male’s tears, who was still sobbing and hiccuping from the crying.

“Grian...Can you please tell me what’s going on?” Mumbo asked gently, “Did I do something wrong? Did I do something to hurt you in any way? I am a spoon after all.” Mumbo chuckled a bit, to see if he could get at least a small reaction from his lover.

Grian giggled just a bit, and sniffled as he looked down at his boyfriend, breathing in and out shakily. “It’s just...Why are you with me? I-I’m useless, I constantly d-depend on you...I-I don’t want to drag you down…” Grian said, tears beginning to well up into his hazel eyes once more. “Why...W-Why do you even **l-love me**?” 

Mumbo frowned and hugged Grian tightly, whispering sweet nothings into his ear once again to calm down the smaller male. “Grian...Why on earth would you self-doubt yourself in that way?” He asked gently, as he looked up at the smaller male that was straddling him, seeing at how fragile and broken he really was. And he just wanted to simply scoop up the pieces and help him as much as he could.

The smaller hermit was still hiccuping and sniffling, tears threatening to fall as they clouded his vision, assuming that Mumbo was going to break up with him right here, right now. 

“Grian...I’m not sure why those form of demons are in clouding your mind right now…” Mumbo started, as he laid down on the couch and had Grian lay on top of him, getting them to equal eye level. “But I want to help you...I may have other things to do, whether it be to finish my base, or helping other hermits…” He told him.

“But that doesn’t mean you aren’t my priority, love. You’re my number one priority. I want to know you’re safe, that you’ve eaten properly. That you’re sleeping properly.” Mumbo said, as he held the smaller male tightly in a loving embrace. “Because you’re my sun, it’s you my love, that gives me the reason to laugh and smile.” Mumbo said, kissing Grian’s face gently, earning small giggles from the light haired male as Mumbo’s moustache was tickling him slightly.

“Without you, Grian...I’m not sure how I’d function.” He told him lovingly, smiling softly at the smaller male, who sniffled and tears began to fall once more on now flushed cheeks.

“D-Do you...Really mean that?” Grian asked softly, looking at Mumbo, as if he was scanning the older male, to see any hint of lying in his voice or eyes. But, he found none.

“Every word.” Mumbo said with a gentle, loving smile. “I know words won’t be enough right now...But, together, we’ll fight those demons. I won’t ever let you fight them alone. Not anymore.” He told Grian, as he pulled Grian down gently by the neck, and proving to Grian with a gentle, loving kiss.

Grian returned the gentle kiss. The two males could feel that the iron door now had a button, a button that could be pressed to open up to one person and one person alone; Mumbo. It was going to be a long journey for self-love. It wasn’t an easy task. But together, they would get through that mission. No matter how long it took.

Both males broke the kiss gently, leaning their foreheads against one another gently, as Mumbo smiled. Seeing the genuine, beautiful smile from Grian’s face. A smile, that for once, wasn’t forced.

“I love you, Grian. Very much.” Mumbo said softly, smiling as he earned a soft giggle from the male.

“I love you too Mumbo, I love you very much.” Grian said lovingly and kissed the taller male’s forehead. “And thank you...For picking me back up.” He said softly.

“I’ll always pick you back up, whenever you need me.” Mumbo said softly, the two males simply laying on the couch, only to slowly fall asleep together, ignoring the rest of the world.


End file.
